I Miss You...

I told my students back home that if I came to live in a foreign country, I was sure to feel lonely at times. I told them it would probably be hard, but that it would be an adventure. It would be worth it, because hard times have a tendency to grow your character in a way which comfortable circumstances won't allow.

So, here I am...feeling lonely.  It's really hitting me this week how much I miss home.

I miss my friends.  I miss scheduled hang-outs at Starbucks...the eclectic music in the background, the clean restrooms and soft toilet paper, and the availability of so many wonderful hearts to connect with.

Not that there aren't wonderful hearts to connect with here in Kiev.  There are an abundance of wonderful hearts.  I just don't know how to connect with them on the level I need.  Not only do they speak a different language (Russian or Ukrainian), but they speak another culture, refer to a different world of common references, thoughts, and philosophies.

Even those who do speak some English and whom I have been grateful to connect with have the unfair disadvantage of only knowing me for 2 months.  We have little shared memories, laughter, or experiences to bond us, and that's what I miss the most.

I miss feeling bonded with people.  I miss history.  I miss real friendship and loyalty that lasts through hard times and celebrates the good together.

I miss being in the pictures posted on Facebook with my fellow actors and friends from the Turning Point Church, being a part of putting on a faith-building production thanks to Kimba's great writing and directing.

I miss my improv family, and Pat's amazing humor and ability to bring out the best in each of us.

I miss my classes, my students, being able to impart wisdom or something of my experiences to inspire or motivate them to be their best for others--to be their best for themselves.

I miss expressing myself completely...
I miss being heard.
I miss feeling wanted.
I miss being missed...

I'm sure that there are people out there who believe in me, who love me, and who do miss me.  I am SURE of it.  I just miss being able to hug them, laugh with them, cry with them, pray with them, and hear them tell me themselves that they do...

I miss home.

And to all of my friends and loved ones reading this...

I miss you.  And I'm not giving up.